Brad "P-Whippy" Pitt reportedly celebrated his birthday by doing shit for his new woman; namely buying each other Cartier rings. To two are alleged to "tie the knot" in a Buddhist-like ceremony at his Malibu home at an undisclosed (and possibly just contemplated) date. The weird thing is, the marriage won't be considered legally binding. So what the hell is the point, you might ask? Well, considering the two are gaining one hell of a reputation for going through lovers like I go through kegs of beer, the idea of a fake marriage isn't a bad one at all for them. I once had a friend have a fake wedding in the second grade, and I still can't believe my buddy went through with it. I swear we all told him at the bachelor party about her eating her own boogers. But I guess love sees past all that...


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Is Brad Pitt so sensitive that the paparazzi are really getting to him? He’s ordered his body guards to snap photos of any of the paparazzi that follow him and Angelina Jolie. The man is banging one of the finest (if not the finest) woman on the planet, and he still manages to find something to complain about? If I was banging a woman as half as fine as Angelina Jolie you would never hear a peep out of me, just give me a sandwich and we can call it a day. “Photograph me! Please follow me around and make me more famous than I already am!”

I guess you just don’t know what you got until it’s gone.


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